think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
