The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
