Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
