I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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