also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
