so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
