Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
