Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
