we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
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As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's paint friendship bongs
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i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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