All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
