i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
