Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
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They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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