I want to have your abortion
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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