I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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