I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
