In the future we'll all be gay
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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