OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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