discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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