Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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