And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
