"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
