I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
