i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
