I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think your dad took our porno
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
