I am puke
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Enjoy the penises
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
