Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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