Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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