They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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