No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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