I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
