His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
