Moan for me like Helen Keller
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
