i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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