then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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