Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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