I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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