that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
