New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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