I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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