You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
