I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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