I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
