I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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