I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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