in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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