Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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