Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
