Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
