She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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