Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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