I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You're like the curious george of whores
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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