Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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