Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
