Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
