PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
4 words: hood of his car
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
