problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
