i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
