using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
