Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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