Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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